Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
