I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
