I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Randomize