so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
