i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize