I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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