dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
