there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
