maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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