no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
