Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
