if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Enjoy the penises
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
