Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
