overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Who died my cat blue again?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize