You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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