i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
