you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
