I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we're making bets on your personal life
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
is it fun? or sober?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
