i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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