I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
