I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
