im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
