I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
