I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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