i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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