As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
