I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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