So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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