Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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