brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize