Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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