I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
