So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize