But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
