Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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