Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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