I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
