i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
third nipple confirmed
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
