Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
