i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
