I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
