My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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