That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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