He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
