She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
