wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
