i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
