Sry I called you an 8
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Congratulations! We have a period
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
