sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
