great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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