Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
