I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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