I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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