As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
