pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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