I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Did I show you my penis last night?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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