is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
