Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
