The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm passing your future prison.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize