i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
