I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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