I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
