btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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