do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
