she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
